A shriek disguised as a school bell pierces the ears of anticipating students, signaling reactions of both relief and dread.

A high school junior (female) pushes through the pile of bodies, her legs pumping her down the H-building. She is in a race against others of her species, a race that can potentially determine who has the strongest bladder. As she stumbles towards the ladies’ washroom, she realizes one of her biggest fears has come to life: There is a line.

The tension elevates. Many females fear they will not survive until the late bell. They jump from one foot to the other, wide eyes darting back and forth.

The junior, after an agonizing minute or two, finally, finally, reaches the front of the line. Upon her arrival, she faces the most curious of situations. Many girls are waiting in line, most of the stalls are occupied, and three are empty.

In a confused daze, the junior cautiously tips back the door of one of the unoccupied stalls. She holds her breath as she peers inside (partly because of the putrid stench), a flame of hope rising in her chest. It is quickly diminished as she stares in horror.

Alas. No toilet paper.

Her head bowed, the junior walks out of the stall. It is her duty to inform the rest of her comrades of the unfortunate situation. They all exchange solemn nods of understanding.

Another few seconds are spent with restless sighs and exasperated exclaims of “we should all just bring our own roll.”

A stall opens and the junior begins to charge forward, but the smallest of voices draws her back. “Wait, can I rip out some toilet paper?”

The junior agrees and lets the other female take as much as she likes. However, more desperate voices start to cry out, until one brave soul takes a roll of toilet paper out from one of the stalls and starts to ration it out, handing it down the line of grateful girls.

A true hero, she lives on in the memory of the junior. How do I know that? I am the junior.

I often walk through campus and gaze in awe at the new solar panels and the new classrooms. A lot of effort was required to have those come into existence.

Similar thoughts come to mind when I look at the school’s adorable emphasis on monitoring trash, as well as their (failed) attempts for nutritious meals.

There is much mostly positive change blossoming at Oak Park, but there is one issue that has yet to be addressed: What is up with the lack of toilet paper?

It is understandable that we only have two janitors. They are not expected to keep the bathrooms polished with a hint of a floral scent because public school bathrooms cannot possibly be expected to have those standards.

We ladies are asking for access to a large stack of toilet paper. Soap and paper towels have been missing on several occasions.

This probably sounds like a spoiled teenaged girl complaining about small details, which is somewhat true, but if the school can make drastic expensive changes, it should be able to keep a steady supply of basic hygiene in the bathrooms.

Otherwise, many more heroes like the one from before may arise, this time with toilet paper brought from home. I’m sure the school will be completely fine with this, but they should be able to provide for us.