The mirror is used to show us how our body looks and how we are perceived in society, but what one’s eyes and mind see and think are completely different. 

Body dysmorphia (BDD) is a mental health disorder that can cause a person to be obsessed with ‘flaws’ in one’s appearance that might not be seen by others. People with BDD will constantly compare themselves to what other people look like, amplifying the perception of their ‘flaws.

I myself struggle with BDD, and it’s something that my brain can’t explain. I wake up some days disliking how I look and want to change how I look, but I can’t make a drastic change; I fear that if I do, I might regret it down the line. I grew up in an environment where I felt pressured to be a certain size, weight and height, and if I did not fit the ideal measurements, even in a very small way, I was ridiculed. I have been forced to believe I had to be a certain way to be good and be perfect. As time went by, I saw more ‘flaws’ and now, I will do almost anything to hide them or fix them. 

Ruminating about insecurities, especially about one’s physical appearance, may occur on a  normal, day-to-day basis. However, people with BDD think about these insecurities or ‘flaws’ to the point that it’s constant and always happening. This is what makes BDD different from simply having insecurities. 

According to Psycom, “BDD stems from, and can cause, a variety of emotional, physical, and psychological issues that can interfere with the quality of your day to day life.” Individuals with BDD avoid mirrors, repeatedly touch and/or look at the measure of the ‘flaw,’ and wear clothes such as hats or scarves to help cover it. 

Because BDD is based on someone’s mindset, it is difficult to diagnose. According to Cleveland Clinic, most people are often secretive about their feelings and symptoms because they feel shame for having BDD. As a result, many people either don’t receive a diagnosis or go undiagnosed for years. The treatment once diagnosed is usually through psychotherapy or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure and response prevention, medications such as antidepressants and group or family therapy. 

What makes this different from other disorders, such as eating disorders, is that it’s body based. According to the Eating Recovery Center, BDD is focused on just one part of the body, like the nose, while most eating disorders are more focused on weight and shape of your body. 

The eating disorder that is often related to BDD is anorexia, primarily because they both have to do with the body. There is overlap between the two, but they aren’t the same. 

“This specific preoccupation with body image may differ across disorders: skin, hair, nose, and other facial concerns are more common among patients with BDD, whereas general shape and weight concerns may be most important for an eating disordered patient,” Center for OCD and Related Disorders states. 

The environment that wraps around the development of BDD is completely different from other disorders and is based on the person and their past. Relative disorders such as OCD and depression can have an impact on whether a person has BDD or increases it. During the teenage years, bullying, teasing and abuse can make a person vulnerable to developing BDD. 

“It is believed that BDD can develop due to a combination of genetic predisposition (nature) and environmental factors such as traumatic life experiences (nurture),” Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation states. 

According to Mental Health America, teenagers that see the ‘ideal’ appearance through social media are more likely to develop BDD. With social media being a major aspect of teens’ lives, the image of a ‘perfect body’ is publicized and causes many teens to wish they had that perfect body. Many other people with BDD look on social media and develop either more ‘flaws’ or just feel worse about themselves.

I can agree that seeing these ‘perfect’ bodies on social media makes me see more that I want to change about myself. Social media makes my BDD worse because I don’t look like that, and I come to believe that there is something wrong with me. Eventually I understood that I’m perfect no matter what other people think—and no matter what I perceive my appearance to look like.

If you find yourself struggling like I do, know that you aren’t alone and that people will be there for you. 

If you are struggling with BDD, call the OWH hotline at 1-800-994-9662 or find information at the  Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) — Information from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America website.