Coalition for Family Harmony: A support system for change

Down the Camarillo Grade, west into the city of Oxnard, the Coalition for Family Harmony is an organization dedicated to supporting community members affected by abuse, intimate partner violence or sexual violence of any kind. 

Central to the Coalition’s mission is education and prevention. Their initiatives are increasingly geared toward teens and combatting on-campus and online bullying. Awareness and advocacy, according to the organization, can prevent or intervene in unhealthy relationships and interactions. 

When it comes to teen dating violence, “nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a partner in a single year.” Studies show that abuse in young people’s relationships can lead to “long-term consequences like alcoholism, eating disorders, thoughts of suicide and violent behavior.”

“Coalition for Family Harmony is an anti-violence organization,” Dr. Sandy Gómez said. “We are working to educate community members on the cycles of violence, on consent, on what healthier relationships look like, but also, what are the safer practices?” 

Dr. Gómez oversees Coalition for Family Harmony’s Rape Crisis Center and LGBTQ+ Program. With a doctorate in cultural studies, feminist theory and research, and nine years of work for the Coalition, she pushes back on parents or teachers who are uncomfortable discussing heavier topics.

In the United States, 1 in 3 girls experience physical, emotional or verbal abuse in their romantic relationships, and 1 in 10 high schoolers have been deliberately hit, slapped or physically hurt by a partner. However, only 33% of these teens shared, let alone reported, their experiences with abuse. According to nationwide statistics, “81% of parents believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don’t know it’s an issue.”

“There’s structures of silence, there’s a lot of stigma attached to talking about sex in general, let alone rape, harassment and catcalling,” Dr. Gomez said. “I think it makes it harder. Survivors think that they are alone and they’re not alone.”

Dr. Gómez emphasized the importance of talking about abuse openly, removing the stigma surrounding it and looking out for one another, keeping each other safer. 

Among their many resources, Coalition’s Oxnard location includes an emergency safe house and a rape crisis center, dedicated to serving Ventura County. It is home to the only indigenous emergency shelter for domestic violence in the United States. Coalition provides access to bilingual hotlines and works closely with youth on probation.

In light of national statistics and to fight bullying and harassment, Oxnard High School has worked collaboratively with Coalition. This enabled the organization to hold workshops and conduct surveys for data on concerns students on campus might face. Similar services are open to Oak Park High School.

“Highlighting student voices and their concerns is important,” Dr. Gómez said. “Bullying happens everywhere. And so again, we need to talk about this.”

To those who remain resistant to talking about harassment or believe those discussions do not have a place on campus, Dr. Gomez had a direct response:  

“When I encounter folks who have an attitude like that, my response is, dear teacher and administrative staff, you have a responsibility to create a welcoming space on your campus.” 

She expanded her point to say that any kind of discrimination based on sex or gender is a violation of Title IX. Title IX includes the protection of equal access to education for all students. Disruptions to one’s learning, like skipping class to avoid a harasser, for example, is an issue of accountability that a school is mandated to address. 

Dr. Gómez pointed out that supporting children, believing their stories, and, above all, offering them help is critical. Many aren’t aware of their student rights and resources. In California, children ages 12 and over can schedule their own reproductive health appointments or get a therapy appointment without the need for a parent or guardian’s consent. 

Coalition for Family Harmony offers, aside from their crisis counseling and support groups, one-on-one therapy sessions. They include Spanish language and LGBTQ+ services. Those seeking support are entitled to a number of free sessions, and afterward, can continue with affordable services.

Dr. Gómez took a moment to address the role of parents, teachers and peers in the broader context of mental health and crisis mitigation.

“Your support is suicide prevention,” Dr. Gomez said. “You believing a survivor is suicide prevention. You honoring your child or your classmates’ chosen name and pronouns is suicide prevention.”

For access to the Coalition for Family Harmony’s resources or services, to get help or get involved, visit thecoalition.org.

Dr. Sandy Gómez: Her life’s work and guide to proactive allyship

Coming from a working-class background and as a queer woman herself, Dr. Gómez held multiple jobs throughout graduate school, including working for student centers. 

“I loved working with the community, and I loved working as a graduate student with first-generation, diverse students of color and first-generation queer students,” Dr. Gómez said.

After earning her doctorate in cultural studies, with an emphasis on feminist theory and research, Dr. Gomez saw her future as a professor and began teaching at UC Davis. But she never lost her passion for the field of rape crisis prevention, nor her whole-hearted commitment to gender equity and social justice. Upon reflection, Dr. Gómez made the decision to leave academia, now a decade ago.

“My academic background and research transitioned nicely to the kind of work that the Coalition for Family Harmony was doing,” Dr. Gómez said. 

In the nine years since, she has applied for grants in direct services and crisis intervention to  work on issues close to her heart within the community. Dr. Gómez developed the Coalition’s LGBTQ+ Program and has mentored students and staff who have gone on to get their master’s degrees and doctorates within the field.

Dr. Gómez believes that talking to students about healthier relationships and taking ownership of harmful actions is important. If someone can critically reflect and understand that their behavior is harmful, they can unlearn unhealthy behavior and make space for healthier relationships and actions.

“Young people can go on to become healthier folks, both mentally, physically and emotionally,” Dr. Gómez said. “They can go on and do what they want to do in the world to make it a better place for themselves and others.” 

To be allies or informed voices on campus, OPHS students should keep up to date on resources like the Wellness Center, counseling and Advanced Peer Counseling. 

“Do not underestimate your power as a student, as a person, to make positive change for somebody who is in crisis or somebody who’s feeling vulnerable,” Dr. Gómez said.

Sometimes, Dr. Gómez said, all it takes is being present and physically there for others, as a friend to lean on or a listening ear.

“As an advocate who’s been in rooms where I was silent and thought I wasn’t doing anything for a survivor, I have had survivors say thank you so much for being here,” Dr. Gómez said. “And in my mind, I was like, I’m not doing anything except sitting here, what else should I be doing? But that’s what they needed. Someone to keep them company in silence during a very difficult time.”

Dr. Gómez and the Coalition for Family Harmony serve Ventura County and the greater area. Their aid is open to all.