The way we interact with others is one of the most important parts of development, especially during our youth. In the back of your mind, there’s a little box of memories waiting to be reopened by nostalgia—from the first time you had a playdate to the first time you sat next to your best friend on the stained kindergarten carpet.
Although the brain takes around 25-30 years to fully mature, its ability to process information peaks at around 18 or 19, and starts to decline shortly after. As it is not fully developed during your early years, the brain is impressionable and is easily impacted by the people you surround yourself with most.
Friends affect the way you perceive the world around you, which enables endless possibilities as to how your personality may rub onto others. The attitude you carry around is really just an average of all your closest friends.
For example, the “five-person rule” states that the five people you hang out with most tend to have the strongest influence on you, and as time progresses, you start to pick up their habits and mannerisms. Whether it be goals or self-esteem, the way you look at yourself also changes.
The people in our innermost circle tend to be the ones we spend the most time with. As the circles start to layer, the outer circles fade into the acquaintances we send a quick smile and wave to when we see them walking around school. We uphold closer friendships to a certain standard as these are the people we confide in most. However, as we grow and develop, some friendships fade.
When a snake molts its skin, for a moment in time, it fails to see clearly and enters a state of stillness. Similarly, while switching out old friends for new, there’s a moment in time where nothing seems to be moving forward. Being close to somebody for so long and then seeing them drift away is a feeling like no other.
Feelings of guilt and shame are difficult to set aside, however, learning to grow into your new skin and being proud of who you are no matter who you’re friends with is one of life’s toughest pills to swallow. Accepting that you’ve grown out of an old relationship means adapting to who you’ve become, and who you will become. Happiness derives from just that.
