Romance has always evolved with the values and expectations of its era. Today, it can be filtered through the lens of social media. Social media has become a space where relationships can be dissected by everyday people and packaged into viral trends, like “if he wanted to, he would,” and “red flags.” To high school students and young adults, such content can seem like a reliable, all-encompassing guide to romance. But how trustworthy and applicable really is this advice?
Sometimes, these social media trends can be helpful.
Take the phrase, “If he wanted to, he would.” It’s based on the notion that if someone values their partner, they will put effort into their relationship. It encourages young people not to settle for indifference.
Yet beyond the simplicity of this argument lies a more complicated reality. People express care in different ways, from small acts of service to gift-giving. These expressions are often shaped by personal challenges, busy schedules and other circumstances. What seems like logical advice in a short video can set up unrealistic standards for future relationships.
The growing focus on “red flags” gives teenagers a framework for recognizing unhealthy behaviors before they become serious concerns. At the same time, this concept can portray ordinary human flaws as toxic, fueling unnecessary vigilance and anxiety.
The concept of 50/50 relationships promotes shared responsibility, encouraging couples to divide household tasks, finances and emotional labor evenly. It challenges traditional gender roles. Still, this approach does not account for the differing needs of individual couples. Responsibilities within relationships shift based on work schedules, personal capabilities and other demands, making a strict 50/50 model impractical for many couples.
Social media’s promotion of these “cookie-cutter,” formulaic approaches to relationships may erase the unique and personal aspects of love. For teenagers and young adults, who are still learning about themselves and how to navigate the world, this influence is especially powerful. 87% of single social media users see relationship content online, and 33% of them say it makes them feel worse about their love life. Internalizing social media’s portrayals of romance may make it difficult for the youth to build genuine, self-assured relationships.
At the same time, social media trends around relationships and romance can be constructive. By highlighting concepts about communication and unhealthy behaviors, they introduce teenagers to core ideas about respect and healthy boundaries. Social media offers a foundation for approaching relationships responsibly.
Romance may have become more public, performative and subject to commentary. The challenge of modern romance isn’t just finding love; it’s navigating through the vast amount of information and advice available online. While relationship advice will continue to evolve, romance won’t. Short social media videos may offer basic advice, but they don’t convey the nuances of individual relationships and romance.
