I first saw “10 Things I Hate About You” when I was a 7-year-old girl in an old beach house my parents used to rent during the summer. And from the very first moment Kat Stratford made her appearance, it was like finding myself inside the screen, and seeing only a glimmering, abstract projection of who I was to become.

Nothing revolutionary happened overnight, of course; in fact, it wasn’t until halfway through my sophomore year that I could fully comprehend the force behind Kat’s character. Before she really struck a chord with me, I was blundering through life, constructing my identity based solely on what boys liked and what they didn’t. I valued male attention over my own self-worth, and it was really pathetic.

But not playing “Susie High School,” as Kat poetically puts it, made me a lot happier once I got the courage to try it out for myself. I was baffled at her iron-willed resilience to uniformity and avid independence because I never knew life could be so malleable. When I was a young woman, the idea of utter assurance in myself felt peculiar, even though Kat’s methods of going about it were completely logical. I mean, who’s to say kicking someone in the balls isn’t panache? I took a look at myself one day, and saw a need for revolution: I realized that the mundane outfits I was wearing everyday weren’t me, and that trying to fit in at school definitely wasn’t me.

And so I began a journey of radical, fierce self-innovation. I started to care a lot less about appealing to a male audience, and instead focused on my dream of getting my own Jeep, so I could ride off into the sunset with a pair of vintage fenders and an unbinding sense of freedom.

As the story goes, I had to give my wardrobe a makeover to fit my new and improved high school personality. Shlumpy (stylish and lumpy, as I am known to describe myself) became the new chic — and as the saying goes, you can have anything you want in life if you dress for it. A “future is female” shirt, ripped Mom Jeans and my favorite vintage Chanel slingbacks were all I needed to ace a biology quiz and win over my crush in one fell swoop.

As an expected result, boys at school began to lose interest. One day in English, for example, a guy who used to be my good friend stared and snickered at the aforementioned “future is female” shirt, and then continued to give me a lecture on reverse sexism after class.

But I am far from complaining. My sense of self wasn’t damaged by this one incident, nor by the many other encounters I have with guys who are scared of confident, strong-willed girls. In fact, it just further reinforced my belief that other people — especially binary-thinking, conformist men — aren’t worth changing myself for. I dress the way I feel, I express my beliefs regardless of what others think, I’m a feminist without shame and I don’t feel the need to date just to fill the empty spaces of my time. Once I found rescue in confidence, I never went back to needing a knight in shining armor: I wore my own armor.

I stopped overthinking the “whys” of my autonomy, and instead turned everyday obstacles into opportunities to triumph.

Yes, it takes a certain amount of optimism, but that’s how radical changes are made: blood, sweat, and a splash of optimism.

Soon enough, I had taken full control of my life. I was making it clear to the world who I really was, and I had never been happier at school. As I became an independent doer and forger of my future, my grades got better, I became more connected with teachers, and I have never been happier with my circle of friends.

If you ever feel like something’s not right in your life, like there’s the appearance of stability but you still feel uncomfortable in your own skin, then I encourage you to take the risk of reinventing yourself. No matter where this takes you, you will eventually come out the other side bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and ready to face the everyday disorder.

Trust me: Being comfortable in one’s own skin really does wonders for the complexion, maybe even more so than my favorite peace rose oil face mask from Shea Moisture.