Whether it’s football, musical theater or indie films, everyone is a fan of something. In an age where media of all forms is so accessible, it’s impossible not to indulge in some level of idolatry towards an esteemed actor, musician or athlete. But when you think about it, isn’t the concept of having a relationship with someone who doesn’t know you exist kind of strange?
According to Psychology Today, parasocial relationships refer to one-sided relationships in which a person develops a strong sense of connection, intimacy or familiarity with someone they don’t know, most often celebrities or media personalities. While public figures like actors and musicians are the most common object of parasocial relationships, these attachments can extend to influencers, podcasters, streamers and more.
Though there are negative stigmas around “fandom”, parasocial relationships are not inherently unhealthy. In fact, they can help adolescents and those with avoidant attachment styles to satisfy intimacy needs without the threat of rejection. A person’s personal relationship to a celebrity can also help create a sense of community, allowing people to form real-life connections over shared interests. In fact, parasocial relationships in the form of fandom can be healthy ways to nurture belonging.
Still, on the other end of the spectrum, borderline-pathological parasocial relationships can be incredibly harmful to the fan’s psyche and can have dangerous results. The obsession with a public figure to the point of delusion commonly seen in “stalker fans” can result in reclusion and can be dangerous for the celebrity.
Parasocial relationships are far from a new concept, but with the introduction of the internet, it is easier than ever for people to bond over their idols and favorite celebrities- often with disastrous consequences. The rise of stan culture has resulted in countless extreme fanbases who blindly support their favorite celebrities.
Whether it’s Swifties, Barbz, BeyHive or Arianators, these fanbases are fervent and will go to virtual war to defend their leader’s honor. It’s not uncommon to open TikTok or Twitter and see users name-calling and doxxing one another over the actions of those they’ve never met. These toxic behaviors raise the question: what level of “fan” is too much?
Pop singer Chappell Roan went viral in 2024 for canceling shows after speaking candidly about entitled fans, saying “I don’t give a f–k if you think it’s selfish of me to say no for a photo or for your time or for a hug. That’s not normal, that’s weird!” Her statements raised a larger conversation about the toxic behavior exhibited by fans, with rapper Tyler, the Creator discussing the lack of privacy associated with fame in his song “Noid”.
“When [fans] are gaining access to the celebrity through social media posts, it increases the perception of intimacy,” digital humanities professor Mel Stanfill wrote. “People think they really have more of a relationship than they do.”
Another facet of the issue with parasocial relationships is the way they are often cultivated and weaponized for personal gain by social media influencers. By strengthening the bond between creators and consumers, the influencer increases their credibility and is able to have a larger impact on the actions of their audience.
“If someone is trying to brainwash you, saying, ‘I’m your friend, you can trust me,’ that person is using a personal social bond to get you to do something — like vote a certain way,” social scientist Arthur C. Brooks wrote. “That’s what the new economy is all about — monetizing parasocial relationships on a mass scale,” Brooks says.
So how do you ensure that your parasocial relationships don’t become unhealthy? While it’s perfectly fine and even healthy to have a celebrity crush, favorite singer, or be a diehard fan or a certain sports team, it’s important to not let them take over your life. If you’re spending all your money to support your parasocial relationship or angrily arguing with those who don’t like them, it’s time to take a step back and take a social media break or prioritize real-life relationships.
Parasocial relationships can be a great bonding experience and coping mechanism- but it’s important to remember that like real-life relationships, they can be toxic as well as beneficial.
