We work to win. Every day, we’re told to wake up with one clear objective in mind; to be better than yesterday or to “get the ball in our court.” The idea of winning fills us with accomplishment and pride and fuels us by providing us with a sense of purpose.
When I open Instagram, my feed is flooded with motivational posts that romanticize early mornings, New York City and expensive outfits. Podcasts about discipline and the “easy” path to success go viral because everyone wants to crack the secret code. When we romanticize things that are pretty on paper or a Pinterest Board, we lose sight of what’s important.
In a stressful high school environment that places an unimaginably high emphasis on this perfectly curated image of success, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Most days, it feels like everything we do is to win. So what does it mean when we lose?
It can be discouraging when we fail to become the champions that we glorify. We get caught up with the idea of who gets the shiniest medal or the nicest shoes, and forget to celebrate small wins.
Our successes don’t have to be overtly flashy or grand to hold significance. So even when we think every aspect of our lives are falling apart. The small wins we have every day, like getting to class on time, eating a healthy breakfast or going to sleep early lay the foundations for a good day.
Oftentimes, while our efforts are meaningful and are done with good intent, they can be misaligned. This means that while we put in the work, we don’t always get the results we hoped for. We don’t always do the right things to win, like practicing the wrong skills and drills, or working on insignificant issues. If we continue down this path, we will likely continue to fail.
The idea of losing after hours of dedicated hard work is a frustrating emotion to cope with. When we unintentionally tie parts of our self-worth to winning, it can quickly develop into an unhealthy relationship with our intelligence and skill.
So, before we answer the question, “What does it mean when we lose,” we have to first define what it means to be a winner. I immediately think of Olympic Gold Medalists like Simone Biles and Micheal Phelps. World-renowned champions who are famous for their resilience and perseverance.
However, beyond the surface, winning is more than the trophies you place on a shelf or the number of medals around your neck. That’s because in the most important aspects of our lives, winning isn’t quantifiable—its abstractness makes it immeasurable.
We will always feel like failures when we don’t recognize and commemorate our achievements. I won’t sit here and tell you the same thing that you’ve been hearing since third grade—that failure is just a stepping stone to success and “a part of the process.” I hope you continue to aspire to be greater than you already are.
I’m here to remind you to acknowledge smaller moments of strength that aren’t as bold. Find solace in the people around you and take back control of your life. Don’t lose sight of what’s important by trying to obtain the achievable. Remember to aim high, but appreciate the people who ground you. That’s what it truly means to win.
