Why we all wish we had an Aunt Becky

‘What ever happened to predictability?’

“Aunt Becky” (Lori Loughlin) and her husband Mossimo Giannulli are under the nation’s microscope right now for allegedly bribing the University of Southern California senior associate athletic director Donna Heinel to get their daughters in.

Although Loughlin and Giannuli did not plead guilty, according to the New York Daily News, “Loughlin and the 15 other parents, including her husband, fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli, now face up to a total of 40 years for the two charges against them — conspiracy to commit fraud and money laundering — as well as a combined fine of up to $750,000, according to the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Massachusetts.”

Loughlin and Giannulli are allegedly involved with William “Rick” Singer, who the Los Angeles Times described as “a Newport Beach college admissions consultant and the scheme’s admitted mastermind.” Why she didn’t just ask Uncle Jesse to help? I’m not sure considering he’s also a “singer.” The LA Times also wrote that “Loughlin and Giannulli are charged with paying Singer $400,000 to have their two daughters admitted to USC in a bogus recruiting scam.”

Now, that’s a serious helicopter parent. But, don’t you wish you had an Aunt Becky? Someone to wave her magic checkbook and POOF you’re into your dream school? I mean, if that was the case then my four years at OPHS would have been so different.

There would be no stress of getting the perfect SAT or ACT score. There would be no stress of taking AP classes or doing well on AP exams. There would be no stress of being involved in roughly 17 different impressive extracurriculars to put on college applications.

None of that stress would ever come near you if you had an Aunt Becky. You don’t want to play four years of soccer and continue at a college level? Don’t worry — just take pictures in a canoe and send it over to USC! Aunt Becky will make sure they find a way to make it work.

There would also be no stress of playing the numbers game that is college acceptances. College acceptance rates are dropping fast and students applying to colleges are aware According to CNN, “with acceptance rates at top colleges and universities falling to record or near-record lows, high school students are facing increasing pressure when it comes to applying to the nation’s best schools.”

USC News, a publication on the USC official website, wrote that their acceptance rate has dropped from 17.8 percent in 2014 to 13 percent in 2018. This steady decline has not gotten quite as low as the admission rates for the Ivy League schools, but it’s getting closer. This year, the acceptance rate for Harvard was 4.5 percent, and the acceptance rate for Cornell was 10.6 percent.

These low acceptance rates can result in students simply thinking, “There’s no way I’m getting into there. Why should I even try?” And that’s completely understandable.

I was in the same boat. I didn’t even see the UCs as an option when I was trying to figure out what university I wanted to go to. I’m very happy with my selection of the University of Oregon, but this cheating scandal honestly isn’t surprising when you look at the pressures put on current high school seniors and the college application process. Not that I’m saying it’s justified – of course, it isn’t.

While I loved her character on “Full House,” I definitely do not support what she may have done for her daughters.

It’s hard to see people like Lori Loughlin use their social and economic status for ill purposes. I just can’t respect people who use under-the-table, shady tactics in order to get their kids into their dream schools.

Imagine this: A student works incredibly hard throughout their high school career getting a 4.0 unweighted grade point average, in addition to playing tennis and having roughly 100 hours of community service per year. This person also plays the trombone and is involved in the governing student body. And yet, Mr. Perfect Student didn’t get into USC because Aunt Becky took that spot for her daughter.

For most of you, this isn’t very hard to imagine. We all work so hard, but when celebrities make “donations” to those impressive universities, it takes spots away from us in the most despicable way.

The fact that celebrities can use their social status and seven figure income as leverage is not a new concept. I’m sure you’ve seen a commercial with celebrity endorsement. Their fame and fortune is being used as a marketing ploy. And it works.

The recent exposure of the college admissions scandal is just evidence of this common understanding taken to the extreme.

It seems that Danny might have to have one of his iconic talks with DJ Tanner. Actually, maybe he should have one with Aunt Becky. Instead of talking to her about the typical teenage issues of the late 80’s and early 90’s, he will need to teach her about fair college procedure. While they’re at it, maybe even about common decency. She clearly needs it.