How many of y’all have spent a gross amount of time taking absolutely useless Buzzfeed quizzes? My hand is definitely raised. I have found out that my Disney husband would be Naveen and I would be placed into Ravenclaw (I disagree with that last one). 

But along the way, I found a quiz that wasn’t as big of a waste of time: the Love Language Quiz. Love languages are different ways to express love and affections. There are five — quality time, physical touch, receiving gifts, words of affirmation and acts of service. When our loved ones use the language we ‘speak,’ we feel loved and cared about.

Right now, we’re all grieving some kind of loss. And to help begin any form of healing, we all need an understanding of not only what our own love language is, but what everyone who we interact with’s love language is. We can begin assessing our own needs to understand what language people need to speak with us for us to use love as the tool by which to overcome feeling trapped and overwhelmed.

The point of learning love languages is to effectively communicate with those around you, and also understand your own needs.

When we’re all stuck at home, we don’t have our friends and peers to communicate with in a way that resonates with us, personally. We all crave affection in one way or another, and to have that need met, we need to understand what our needs are, and how we can help others meet theirs. It will help feel supported and cared for while we grieve and work through these difficult times.

Let’s not forget that tensions can run high when you’re with the same people for a prolonged period of time in an enclosed area. It’s only natural to feel irritated and frustrated. Plus, our days follow the same routine; there’s no change because the variables which caused change have been cut for our own protection.

These factors add up pretty quickly, and the answer to that problem will inevitably be sorrow and anger. And while those feelings are more than justified, we all need to make an attempt at healing.

Let me explain the languages a little bit.

If “quality time” is your main language, you feel most loved when you spend quality time with the people you care about — pretty self-explanatory. “Physical touch” would mean that you feel most loved when those you care about give you a hug, or put their arm around their shoulder, etc. When people express their love to you physically, you really appreciate it.

People who have “receiving gifts” as their language feel loved when physical objects are presented to them as a token of appreciation. “Words of affirmation” is the language of people’s affectionate and praising words making people feel loved. Finally, “acts of service” is a language where those who speak it feel cared for when others run an errand for them or help them out when they need it.

So, take the quiz. Figure out what your love language is, and talk to your friends and family about how they can meet that need for you, and how you can meet that need for them.

If your language is “quality time,” set aside an hour to do something with your family. It can be as simple as making dinner together or watching a movie. Those of you that speak “physical touch” can remind those you’re quarantined with that a simple hug goes a long way. People who like to receive gifts, pick up a little something for yourself on the next grocery trip (while still following safety guidelines, of course).

Those who appreciate “words of affirmation,” just let your friends and family know that you need a little encouragement every day to keep your chin up, and remind them it will help keep you motivated. And those whose mother tongue is “acts of service,” just let your loved ones know that any small favor would go a long way.

Right now, we must band together and exude compassion and understanding. This is just one more tool to help get us there.