How to tree-pose your way to a good time in the age of the quarantine slump

Allow yourself to enjoy things, even if you aren’t great at them


Maya Markowicz/Talon

Depiction of a person doing a “tree-pose” yoga technique.

When I was younger, there were a lot of pastimes that I looked down upon and disregarded as a waste of time. I was quick to dismiss things as “too girly” or “too childish” or for a million other inconsequential reasons that, looking back, withheld me from doing the things I truly enjoyed —  or at least, the things I wanted to try. 

Luckily, I have since managed to abandon my (admittedly pretentious) way of thinking and instead adopted the most simplistic method of self-gratification possible: doing what I like, even if it’s dorky or immature or entirely unbecoming of a soon-to-be legal adult. 

What have I turned to in my time of seemingly-endless quarantine boredom? 

Yoga videos and a screeching rubber chicken. 

I’ll be the first to admit that I look awful when I do yoga. My legs have the flexibility of two-by-fours and my arm strength? Forget it — a total joke. Trying to do side-plank stretches is about as easy as trying to stop a professional linebacker mid-sprint. While some of you may play football and are capable of doing that, it’s a bit more difficult when you weigh less than your little brother and think that Goldfish crackers should be their own food group. 

Despite all of this: I love doing it. I find the slight burn of a stretch immensely satisfying and can never get my mind to be as quiet as it is when I zero in on my breathing. Whenever I find myself sinking deeper into a pose than I had two days prior, I glow with pride. It’s improved both my strength and my focus in minute, otherwise-imperceptible ways. 

Back in October, my dad, brother and I became the proud family of one $15 rubber chicken from Spirit Halloween. Not one of us needed it for a costume — or any legitimate reason that one would need a rubber chicken — but we thought the way it screeched was funny, so we brought it home. Not a day has passed where the chicken has gone unsqueezed. 

Am I saying that the cure to your quarantine struggles is to do yoga while the family’s yellow rubber chicken watches you from your desk? No, but if you want to try the yoga out, this is my favorite channel. 

I am, however, telling you to quit worrying about how cool you look doing the things you enjoy, and to quit holding yourself back from the things you want to try because you’re worried about appearing oh-so nonchalant to your friends. It’s cringier to look back on yourself and see someone who spent their life trying to be exactly like everyone else (or, in the cases of people like myself, completely unlike everyone else) than it is to look back on someone who did stupid things sometimes. Trust me, I’ve been both of those people. It’s really not worth the sweat. 

Also: your friends won’t judge you as much as you think they will. Everyone is more or less in the same boat, so you won’t get that many judgemental stares for painting your oar hot pink instead of the usual olive green. 

Allow yourself to be dorky sometimes. It might be just what you need to get through the day every now and then.